A friend went to a Pro-Wrestling event in New York. She shared this link afterwards, because she's playing in my Ambulance-based MeatWagon/TraumaTeam-style game of Cyberpunk Red.
Dangerous assumptions about how gaming relates to life. Also a place for r_b_bergstrom to keep an archive of things he flung out into the gaming fora and wikis of the world.
Saturday, January 3, 2026
Turn-Based Wrestling
Monday, November 3, 2025
Some random Andor thoughts
If you haven't seen it yet, Andor is well worth the watch. It's a little slow at the beginning of the first season, but builds into something amazing, and is one of the best TV shows of all time (not just Star Wars TV shows). It's also the most relevant Star Wars has ever been to our real world. Every time I re-watch Andor, it makes me want to go to a protest rally and speak truth to power, then come home and play a Star Wars game. Great show.
I was watching a youtube video today about Andor, where someone was talking about not liking that one particular Andor story arc never really reaches a conclusion. But I feel that this particular story line needs to NOT have a clean answer, as that unresolved emotional tension is critical to the main character's journey and development. So I wrote:
Cassian's character arc requires him to not find his sister. He starts out only caring about his people, his family, and will do anything for them. He fights the empire because of the horrible things they've done to his family, and he's trying to prevent more awfulness from happening to them. But with every story arc and time jump, his "family" gets larger and larger. First Maarva. Then his adopted hometown, and that circle of friends. The Aldani Heist gives him a choice of how large his "family" is going to be. That's why Skeeve's false backstory is about a lie about family. Cassian's not quite ready to admit that the whole universe is made up of families that are actually as important as his own, but he glimpses it in Nemik's words, and steps away from that realization despite protecting Val and the Rebellion in the crucial moment. Then the Narkina prison solidifies it, as his fellow convicts become his family. He returns home to his first familial extensions, and in that aftermath is when he really embraces that the galaxy deserves the same protection he wants to give his family. But he's still struggling with it, often (understandably) prioritizing his own family over the big picture. That's why Bix leaves him, so he can choose "all the people" over "his people" and stay on task. And that's why he can't find his sister. The family-shaped hole at the center of his being is less important than his mission to save all the families everywhere from tyranny. If the story had involved him finding his sister, Bix's sacrifice might have been undone, and Cassian's development might well have reverted to just focusing on those closest to him, undoing his growth from "looking out for me and my own" to "fighting to protect everyone, at great personal cost". She could be out there anywhere, so even in the moments when he'd rather just help his in-group, he has to operate from the assumption it's better and smarter to help everyone everywhere.
Friday, August 26, 2011
TROOPS: Cloud City
Here's a link to my post about the old game. For those unfamiliar with the general TROOPS concept, here's a link to the very entertaining video that inspired this madness.
We used the classic d6 system, with the PCs assembled quick and easy via the game's template system. The PCs were mostly Stormtroopers, plus one contract Bounty Hunter (an Ewok of all things) and a probe droid operating as embedded journalist / camera crew. Surprisingly likeable PC Stormtroopers, as in the video, with completely dysfunctional shady NPCs. "All NPCs are Guilty - Otherwise they wouldn't be NPCs." A few of the PCs were reprised from the other scenario two years ago, but any who got promoted had since been busted back down to no more than junior officer status so it would still feel like TROOPS.
This time I ran them through the background events of the last third of Empire Strikes Back, explaining why the 'Falcon's hyperdrive is deactivated, how C-3PO got shot, and what kind of trouble you can get into when someone's severed hand lands on your back porch.
At the start of every scene, I handed a random PC a short written script. This was their narrative monologue to the camera, used to set up and lead in to the next scene, and establish background details. For example, to start the session, I had someone read:
We’ve just been recently stationed out here on Cloud City in the Bespin system. I know, you’ve probably never heard of it, neither had I. It’s one of those fly-by-night corporate towns, mining Tibana gas out of the sky. Not sure you can even call that mining, it’s more like sucking. Can I say that on TV?
The local governor is kinda shady, 'cause the place is almost small enough to not be noticed. He’s not even enrolled in the Mining Guilds, and he owes a lot of back taxes and gambling debts. Anyhow, the citizenry aren’t too pleased with the way he’s running things, and there’s been some disturbances as a result.
That’s why we’ve been called in, to bolster the local police force.
Sometimes that ruffles a few feathers with the local big whigs, of course, but in the end everyone agrees quality of life improves once the Empire gets involved, and that’s what really matters.
"Cloud City, Bespin, 7:00 am local-time" scrolled across the screen. Then the camerabot turned to another one of the TROOPS, who said (read from the telepromter, no doubt) this:
We’re responding to a call from the local Port Authority, seems they need a bit of help here.
There’s a ship that came in for repairs, had a malfunctioning hyperdrive or something, Put it in to dry dock at the local shop, and there’s some sort of animal problem. I’m guessing the owner left his pet on board, and forgot to tell the mechanics.
Normally, this sort of thing would be handled by Animal Control, not by the Emperor’s Finest, but apparently these here Gas Giant planets don’t have much in the way of wild life, so this town doesn’t actually have an Animal Control Guildhouse.
Looks like that fellow over there works here, we’ll start by asking him if he knows what kind of animal we’re looking for.
So the PCs enter the shipyard, where a pissed-off mechanic is bandaging his hand. He explains the owner of the ship has a real menagerie on board, some big fuzzy thing, a bunch of droids, and whatever it was that bit him. For a couple minutes I managed to imply it was Chewbacca that bit him, which was a total miscommunication red-herring. The players were wondering what the guy did that would provoke Chewie to attack, but had to proceed as the arrogant Imperial pigs they were.
The Imperials head over to the ship to check it out. One officer leans into the open hyperdrive port and bangs on it to scare out whatever the animal is, and ends up with a Mynock wrapped around his helmet. There's a couple more in the engine block, and they start flying around.
It wasn't much a challenge for armed and armored troopers, but I broke out the Star Wars miniatures anyway and dipped our toes in a combat system none of us had used in a long time.. The first two Mynocks went down in the very first round, but the third one was surprisingly resilient. No one could get a decent damage roll on it, and a missed shot with a "1" on the wild-die left the NPC lying dead on the floor.
After the Mynocks were dealt with, the PCs put a "boot" on the Falcon's hyperdrive, broke one of it's tail-lights to justify a few extra tickets, and searched the holds. They confiscated the boxes full of money that Han was going to use to pay off Jabba. Aside from a little trouble with that little zappy ball that Luke used to practice his sabre work in the first film, the scene wrapped up without incident, and without the PCs ever meeting the main characters from the movies.
Next scene. One of the PCs reads:
This part of town has a bit of a reputation as a “red diode district”, if you know what I mean. That is to say, prostitution, mostly droid-related.
We’re just gonna do a little sweep through the neighborhood, mostly chase off the hookers and johns. Let them know the Empire is here now, and that sort of thing won’t be tolerated anymore. They shouldn’t be out on the streets lookin’ for droid love, that’s what the Twi’Lek Dancing Girls Guild is for.
Of course, if any of the pimps, hos, or sexbots get uppity with us, we are authorized to use whatever force we deem necessary. That’ll send a message, loud and clear. To protect the decency and social welfare of the city, of course.
This lead to a small scene with an "obvious prostitute", I said as I placed a minature R4 astromech unit on the tabletop. When they eventually blasted the sexbot, it responded in the typical R2D2 method, rolling back, head spinning, and dozens of tools and attachments popping out of all the hidden compartments. So now the corridor is littered with vibrators. They question the other nearby bot, PI-MP, who claims to know nothing about "that slutty little bitchbot".
"You want me to backhand her for you officer? I'm fluent in over 6 million forms of bitchslapping."
Surprisingly, PI-MP doesn't get blasted. He managed to convince them that he was innocent. Some random protocol droid came walking in at that moment, and PI-MP pointed at him. "Look, that's gotta be the pimp you're looking for officers. Look how much bling-bling he's made out of." So they let PI-MP go, and blasted poor C-3PO who just happened to wander in at the wrong time.
Meanwhile, the dirty little Ewok bounty hunter wasn't at all interested in cleaning up the prostitution of Cloud City. Since we were in a bad part of town, he went looking for other entertainment. Before long, he was involved in some illicit gambling with a bunch of Ugnaughts and Jawas, playing some high-stakes game called "Utini!" As their game wrapped up, his fellow little people said they were off to some big protest that was going on.
Which lead right into this scene:
There’s a lot of labor disputes going on lately. Not being affiliated with the Miner’s Guild, the local government is ill-equipped to deal with it.
An informant told us that there was going to be some sort of protest going on, an attempt by the workers from “Deck Twelve an’ a Half” to unionize or something.
On the one hand you want everybody to be able to speak their mind and improve their lot in life, but at the same time... well, we all know that protests are often just the first step towards Rebellion and lawlessness. We’re gonna see if we can’t get them to disperse, kinda nip that in the bud before it gets too troublesome.
Ah, jeesh, look at all those little guys. They’re kinda cute. Hope we don’t have to disintegrate them. Set for stun.
I got out an actual map for this one, and set up a big cluster of ugnaughts, ewoks, jawas, and various short droids in a picket line. They were complaining about the working conditions on deck 12 & 1/2. Poor lighting, no safety railings, and the terribly low cielings. "First off, who are they trying to kid here? We all know deck '12 & 1/2' is really unlucky number 13. Secondly, why the low ceilings? Are they trying to say we're short? Just because we're not 2-meter tall freaks doesn't mean that some of us don't get claustrophobic! And what did Baron Calrissian do to 'improve' our lot in life? Longer coffee breaks and freakin' door to the brain of Moff Malkovich. I don't think even Moff Malkovich wants to see what happens inside Moff Malkovich's brain. I sure don't!"
The PC Imperial Officer starts making rolls of his command skill, threatening to blow up the protesters if they don't disperse. This gets rid of most of the crowd, except one little power droid who stands his ground shouting "Gonk no, we won't Go(nk)!" Time for some good old fashioned police brutality. The PC AT-ST Pilot chose to have her walker kick the Gonk Droid off the platform. She failed, with a dismal low roll and a spectacular "1" on the wild die.
So now the AT-ST scout walker is lying face-down on the terrain (a parked Imperial Shuttle on the platform, as a matter of fact) and the badly damaged Gonk droid is ominously whistling as if it's going to blow.
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| It ain't easy justifying this much SteamPork. |
That's not nearly dire enough, so I chose that moment to have some of the other protesters return. Including several ugnaughts in a mecha war machine. I put my "Uggernaught" miniature on the table. I've been itching to use this mini in a scenario ever since I opened it in a booster of Star Wars minis a couple years back. Look at that thing, ain't it just ridiculously cool? Usually hard to justify, but this was no doubt the perfect game for it.
So now the PCs are pinned between the fire of a crazy ugnaught death machine, and the whistling overload of a malfunctioning power droid. Now that's drama! :)
While most of the squad was pinned down, one of the Troopers did manage to use the cover of the buildings on the map to advance without incident and take out the rebel ugnaughts by means of a well-placed grenade. The whistling Gonk droid on the other hand was beyond their ability to multi-task, so most of the PCs took wounds from shrapnel damage that penalized their rolls the rest of the night.
The PC Imperial Officer went to fetch a change of uniforms, and came back with a new mission (and thus another of my short scripted monologues).
We’re responding to a possible domestic dispute. Neighbors called, said there’s a lot of yelling and the sounds of dishes shattering coming from one of the homes here.
I don’t expect too much trouble, though, as you can tell we’re in a nice part of the city. They’ve got a beautiful view of the bottomless shaft, there. That’s a doozy.
If need be, we can take one or both of them down to the Detention Center till they sober up or calm down.
Dispatch says its the address is the home of one of the local city administrators, so chances are they’ll quickly calm down just to keep up appearances. These local government types are kinda slippery like that.
As it turned out, the home was that of Mr. and Mrs. Lobot. For those of you who don't recognize the name, Lobot was Lando's right-hand man on Cloud City. The bald guy with the computer sticking out of his head who follows Calrissian around, wordlessly directing lesser minions. He holds a position of importance, but he's very formal and not a particularly warm or communicative individual. So, it's no surprise that his marriage is a bit strained. Probably works late nights and weird back-room business deals with his shady boss in gambling dens and strip clubs. Who's to blame Mrs Lobot if she suspects her husband is secretly some sort of mob boss?
Lots of hysterics follow. The place has been trashed. She's in tears, crying and screaming, and he's standing there stoicly telling the troopers that everything is under control. Amidst all her sobbing, they eventually figure out she keeps repeating "it's on the balcony!" There the PCs find a severed hand. Mr Lobot swears he had nothing to do with it, that it must have fallen from somewhere further up the bottomless shaft. Mrs Lobot, however, is certain it's some sort of creepy mob signal, like waking up with the head of a Bantha in your bed.
While they're all out on the balcony trying to sort things out, the rest of a body falls past them. They look upward, and see this narrow promontory extending out to the middle of the chasm. There's someone else up on the damn thing, too, some black-clad Emo kid. Cut to narration:
We’re heading up a few levels, there’s a crisis situation, looks like a Jumper. It’ll be our job to talk him down.Hey, if you forgave a Being John Malkovich reference, I figure you won't mind me stealing a Bastogne line from Band of Brothers.
We don’t get these suicide calls too often since most citizens of the Empire are so darned happy. You sure do see it more often out here on the Rim, though.
I remember a couple of planets back, there were these Jumpers just hanging from the ceiling! Hanging there. Wouldn’t come down. Stayed up there so long, they caught their death of cold.
Man, that place sure was chilly. C - O - L - D! You can ask my wife. On a frosty night,
laying in bed, I still say to her “Well at least I’m not back on Hoth!” I’ll remember that place for the rest of my life.
In the movie, after Luke throws himself off the ledge, Vader just heads back to his Star Destroyer like its no big deal. That of course is not what the PCs find when they get up there, though. No, I have a "fine tradition" in my TROOPS games that every session must end with a Drunken Darth. So Vader's out on the far end of this narrow ledge over a huge pit, all sad and depressed because his son just jumped. The Ewok bounty hunter walks out there to talk him back in. They end up sharing a few drinks - all those buttons and switches on Vader's chest plate are controls to his built-in minibar.
"I'm not a bad father, am I? I know I wasn't ever really there for him, but lots of people have workaholic absentee dads, right? That's no reason to shout 'you're not my father' and jump off a cliff, is it? I mean, it's not like he didn't know I exist, I left him with family after all. That's better than I had. You know what my mom told me? She said my daddy was a magic space virus!! You know what that does to a kid? Teaches him his mommies a damn liar, that's what it does! So at least I didn't lie to him like that..."
The Ewok tries talking him back in off the ledge, but without a lot of luck. In retrospect, I should have called for some sort of social roll to give him a shot at success, but it was a surprisingly complex scene and I was pretty deep in character, so I dropped the ball there. Not that I wasn't pleased with how it all turned out.
He's out there, waxing suicidally, and would rather down a six pack and a few bowls right here at the cliffs of doom than go back to work or blow off steam at some nightclub.
Someone suggests that the one female Stormtrooper in the squad try to coax him back to safety. She's rather reluctant, because the other time we played this, he made her be his date to his High School Reunion... and let's face it, Darth Vader is kind of a dick. Speaking of which, it's not long before she's ordered out on the ledge, pole-dancing on that vertical pipe or antennae or whatever the point of those weird bits on the bridge to nowhere are. This took a fairly difficult climbing & jumping roll, especially in the armor, but as it turns out she was up to the task.
As Vader is talking about what a great kid he had before he threw himself off the ledge, the PC Imperial Officer steps forward with their evidence baggie from the previous scene. "This son of yours, was this his by any chance?" he asks, handing Vader the severed hand.
I tell everyone that this is too much for Vader, and he feints. Everyone should roll initiative. I'll roll 3d6 for when Vader falls, only people who roll higher than him can act before he falls off the ledge. The first PC to act is also the only one who's too far away to do anything more than shout. The next two PCs try Brawling rolls to grab Vader, but fail and have to make a Dex check to keep from falling with him. The Ewok bounty hunter attaches a grappling hook to Vader, but there's some doubts as to how well a lone Ewok can belay the descent of a rather tall human in battle armor carrying a well-stocked wet bar. Yet another PC rushes out on to narrow promontory to try and grab him, and they also fail, this time with a "1" on the wild die.
Time for some final narration, this time improvised, by the GM:
There's a scraping metallic sound, and the camerabot pivots to see several bolts of the superstructure pop as the narrow platform buckles under the weight. With a sudden lurch, the entire promontory breaks loose and tumbles far down out of sight, taking Vader and the whole squad with it.So I guess technically that's a TPK, but I've never seen a group quite that unanimously happy with a Total Party Kill before. TPKs don't usually get applause and laughter.
"TROOPS was filmed live in Cloud City." The theme music plays as the credits roll. "Bad Droids, Bad Droids, whatchyagonna do?"...
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Burying 3:16
For the first few sessions, the weirdness of the rules were a huge source of delight. The narrative freedom granted by the combat system was a nice change of pace from more crunchy systems, and the gung-ho military setting was sufficiently unlike anything any of us had played recently. It took just half a session to get the hang of it, and then everyone was having fun. I'd planned to run a short campaign of 6 to 8 sessions, but we enjoyed it enough to play 17 sessions.
Ultimately, though, the weirdness of the rules was exactly why the campaign could not be sustained any further. I find myself very skeptical of the notion that the later stages of the campaign-game had ever been playtested, as I found numerous problems that needed attention. Here's a few specific nits to pick:
- When PCs are 90% likely to succeed at anything, kill hundreds of aliens per action, and never take any damage, the game gets a little weird. And since you roll so few dice per session or combat, there's often 1 player that gets punished by the randomness while everyone else flies uninhibited. You just don't roll enough dice for "the Law of Averages" to ever kick in.
- The game has just two attributes, and they are completely unbalanced. For a one-shot, FA is the be-all-end-all bomb. In campaign play, however, FA is a far distant second-place to the NFA that gets you promoted and keeps you equipped. Early gaps in stats or firepower can make someone feel useless until they fix it... which takes about 10 sessions' efforts to level the playing field.
- Since stats can be so low at the start, you're inclined to keep the modifiers small and sparse. (-2 is pretty hefty nerfing when your stat is 3.) Due to the competitive nature of the game (kill count gets you levels and promotions), the GM has to be very careful with applying such modifiers fairly and evenly. My wife was playing, which makes fairness (and appearance of fairness) trickier, so my solution was to almost never called for modified rolls. But late in the game, that lack of modifiers means the PCs can shoot for the moon and hit it 90% of the time.
- The jump from 3d10 kills to d100 kills is huge. Once one player has it, everyone else will rush to catch up, but for some characters (ironically, those with the highest initial Fighting Ability) bridging that gap can take nearly a dozen frustrating sessions.
- Most alien abilities are useless, but the few that aren't are positively devastating; Most sessions have an utter lack of tension, but then a killer power comes up in the next session and you have a pressing imminent threat of TPK in scene after scene.
- Planets can have raging volcanoes, toxic environments, and electrical storms that provide plenty of flavor but no mechanical effect. And they have to have no mechanical effect, because some of them would otherwise be instant killers if the PC's armor got a single crack.
- Speaking of armor, the health levels are wonky too. Power armor protects you just once per planet, while the flesh of your body can take 2 or 3 times as much damage as the armor did and heals between fights even if you're captured or isolated.
- The APC and the Dropship do basically the same thing, but use none of the same rules to accomplish it. Ultimately the preference between them comes down to flavor text for everyone but the one PC who's driving, and that PC would much rather be firing their own heavy weapon.
- Kill counts are hard to grok when the aliens are swarms, incorporeal, giants, sentient planets, etc, all of which come up pretty often. Just as bad is when the alien power is "Stop Technology" so the gun-cams and computers you'd been narrating for 15 sessions suddenly stop working, but the mechanics and medals still need an ongoing count. Down on the planet, I'm killing as many as 4d100 aliens per turn, but if I collapse a star with a missile and wipe out a civilization it only nets d10,000 kills?
- The math works well enough to sustain the game elements, but not to suspend the disbelief.
So how'd I make it work in the face of all that? I just dialed the weirdness up to "11". Once it was clear that things were going to get hard to swallow, I started putting in little hints that things were not as they seemed. I made the game setting as surreal as the rules were unbalanced. For a while, the PC's theories were that maybe they were being drugged or tested on VR by high command, or they'd been captured by aliens and put into a hallucinatory mindscape for brainwash or interrogation purposes. And then slowly they came to accept that maybe the PCs were just crazy. I structured a scene or two as if they were playing Power Kill instead / in addition to 3:16. I stole ideas from Shutter Island, Suckerpunch, and Lost Highway. I made overt references to 60's and 70's acid rock, and to the works of Lewis Carrol. That provided plenty of cover to hide the stranger properties of the game system.
Our final scenes were taking place on several different realities. They were simultaneously killing aliens, getting therapy in a 20th Century mental hospital, and being interrogated by a Jack Bauer type from the Department of Homeland Security who wanted to know where they'd hid the dirty bomb in downtown LA. The PCs faced off against the Brigadier (and each other) for a final confrontation in the launch bay of a Starkiller Missile. When one of them made an NFA roll to launch the missile into the nearby star, we all wordlessly knew this was the final combat of the game. The fight morphed into a car chase on the streets of LA with a mushroom cloud in the background.
At the end of that fight/chase (which ended with three players using Weaknesses, and one using a Strength), I let everyone narrate their own epilogue about how things resolved in whichever reality (or realities) they wanted. A few of these epilogues strongly contradicted one-another, which we all decided was perfectly as it should be.
Friday, April 9, 2010
Clash of the Plot Holes
If Peter Jackson had attention-deficit disorder, and was doing a lot of meth while making the Lord of the Rings films, we now know what the results would have been like. They would have been just like the new remake of Clash of the Titans.
It's kinda pretty at times, but that's the most I can say for it. It's not so much exciting as it is spastic. Within this film, things happen for arbitrary and senseless reasons, and they do so as quickly as possible. Most of the fight scenes are the action-movie equivalent of a Jackson Pollock painting. It may be pretty, and it sure has a lot going on - but what looks from a distance to be detail, on closer examination turns out to just be random splatters without meaning.
"Let's put Treebeard in the desert! Then we'll have him ride around on the back of one of those giant elephants. When he gets off the elephant, he'll do some kung-fu, then we'll wrap a giant snake around him, and then he'll explode!" It's like that, except the giant elephant has been replaced by a Scorpion of variable size, and Treebeard is wearing Iron Man's neon-blue heart implant. Don't ask me why, none of it made any sense. I still can't figure out why the freaking Ents were even in Clash of the Titans. They're not in the 1980's version, and they're not in Greek myth either, and their inclusion is completely random - but the same thing can be said about almost every element of this movie.
The film is really shallow, too, and it features characters we neither care about, nor believe in. At no point during the film did I want Perseus to succeed at his stated goal, but neither did I particularly want him to fail. Most of the time, I just didn't care. It's not like he was fighting against a villain. The film pointedly has no villains. I mean, there's Calibos, he seems pretty bad, but when you think about it, he's just angry because Zeus raped his wife and Hades took advantage of him. His actions are deplorable, but his motivations are basically the same as the Hero - he's rebelling against that bastard Zeus. But Zeus isn't the bad guy either, as the film ham-handedly reminds us during its hard-to-swallow happy ending. So that must mean Hades is the villain, except the film points out to us again and again that Hades is only so bitter and manipulative because Zeus tricked and betrayed him.
I'm a big fan of "shades of gray"-style moral ambiguity in a film, but in the Clash remake, this is done really sloppily and never fully explored. We're never torn over what is the right thing to do, and neither are any of the characters. Instead, we're just given mixed messages about who really is the monster, and then quickly distracted from contemplating any of it by yet another incomprehensible action sequence. Hey look - a harpy! WTF?
In this film, the main character, Perseus, has 3 fathers:
- There's the mortal fisherman who raised him as his own. Shortly before he dies, he tells Perseus that what he really wants his son to do is to stand against the Gods, and change the world so that mankind will no longer be enslaved by Olympus. Perseus starts off to fulfill his father's last wish, and then kind of abandons that goal without ever saying why.
- There's Zeus, king of the Gods, who raped Perseus's mother, and then abandoned the resulting child. But he's not the bad guy, we are told again and again. After 20 years of being a dead-beat dad, he's now trying to make up for it. His wish is for Perseus to take his rightful place in Olympus, but Perseus declines that opportunity both times it's offered to him.
- His third father is the asshole who killed his mother and tried drowning him as a child. Later, he turns into a real (as opposed to just figurative) monster, and tries to slay the adult Perseus. Obviously, that won't do, so he's killed by his step-son Perseus. His dying wish is, strangely enough, for Perseus to not become a God, and stay away from Olympus. It's delivered very oddly, practically "I know I've been trying to kill you, but it's for your own good. Please don't become a God, because that'd be really bad for you, and I'm worried about your future and the fate of humanity." It's a really lame attempt at a Darth Vader redemption, made all the weaker by the fact that the director doesn't feel compelled to give it more than 3 seconds of screen time.
The worst part of the film, however, is the hackneyed attempt at foreshadowing that then gets abandoned and forgotten at the end, ret-conning itself into a red herring. I'm talking about the warning of the Stygian Witches. They go to see the witches, these three inhuman blind seers of great wisdom and insight. On the way there, Io (Perseus's shallow and unbelievable love interest) spends several minutes ominously warning Perseus not to ask any more questions of the witches beyond the obvious "how to kill the Kraken" question. She says he won't like the answer he gets, and it's really played up as a big deal, like there's something nasty in his destiny.
Sure enough, the witches drop a doozy on him. They prophecy that he's going to die while fighting the Kraken. The music swells dramatically, and Io says something like "Oh, Perseus! I told you not to ask them anything else! This is so tragic!"
Then the end of the movie rolls around, and he doesn't die. In fact, he's never even wounded, and you don't feel he's actually in a lot of peril. Apparently, the all-knowing magically gifted witches were just screwin' with him, not actually foretelling the future. Despite the prophesy scene having be played up like it was a really important plot point, there's no mention of it at the end of the film, it too is just swept under the rug.
Now, it's possible that the film is just being unexpectedly subtle at the end. I doubt it, because everything has been in-your-face and beat-over-your-head before that point, but there's a remote chance it was actually a clever ending that was just so subtle it failed. Because, frankly, the last 5 minutes of the film would make a lot more sense if it were actually a far-subtler version of the end of Brazil (or the recent movie Repo-Men). Here's what I mean:
Maybe, just maybe, the Kraken actually kills Perseus. At the very end, he dives into the water in a harbor to save some girl that's almost certainly dead. After expressing her willingness to be a human sacrifice, she's fallen hundreds of feet into the water, and 80 tons of rock is falling on her. The harbor is between two steep cliffs, with a city built into them. The scenery and location were a prominent part of the scene.
He and the girl are next seen on a flat and featureless beach, and rescue ships are on the horizon coming to take the girl home. Maybe Perseus rescued her, swam several miles away to some nearby island, and somehow signaled the survivors in the devastated city that they needed a rescue. That seems to be what the film is saying. But I suppose it's also possible that he and the girl both died, and the featureless beach is Elysium / Heaven / etc. If that's what the movie was trying to convey, it did a piss poor job of saying it, but I can't completely rule it out. At least it would have made a lot more sense than the happy ending they seem to be trying to shove down our throats.
I could go on like this for a few pages more, there's just so much wrong with film. Io's supposed backstory didn't match her on-screen powers. Hades make-up was inconsistent and laughable. The CGI critters kept changing size relative to humans. The Kraken came from Cloverfield. Etc.
I suppose maybe I should have put some spoiler warnings at the top of this post... but I think if I just "ruined" the movie for you, I was probably doing you a favor.
Monday, April 20, 2009
Post Apocalyptic Decay
Before I knew it, I'd written over 3700 words on how to use these concepts and timeline in a roleplaying game, including a hybrid timeline drawing from the wikipedia pages on all of those sources. I put it up at Arcana Wiki. I think I'll mirror it here as well, since that was one of the original goals of this blog - to preserve gaming materials I'd put up on wikis and forums elsewhere.
This post is going to be pretty long. The version at Arcana Wiki will have better formating, and is probably the better read as a result. I probably won't take the time to fix the formatting here unless my original gets deleted at Arcana Wiki. Someone else there might have the good sense to edit me, eventually, since I tend to get a little verbose.
Post Apocalyptic Decay
This page describes the affects on our planet, it's environment, and human technology and endeavor in an After The End scenario. Assume mankind is wiped out by some contagious and lethal supergerm, or taken away in The Rapture. What happens to our planet, our cities, and any scattered pockets of survivors?
Just how our world is altered will depend on what the nature of the Apocalypse is. The decisions you make for your campaign will color this information. If it's World War III, you'll have to worry about nuclear winter. If it's alien invasion, or a global pandemic, those will have consequences and aftershocks to affect this as well.
Just as important is on how long after the disappearance of man the campaign is set. The impact of time will be pretty radical, and is the bulk of what's detailed below.
Another important element is where the setting is on earth - coastal areas and rainforests will see the fastest degradation of man's monuments, and dry desert areas will preserve things the best. This is mostly addressed in the text that follows, but if setting a game in a very wet or very arid location, you'll want to adjust timeframes slightly.
The text below mentions survivors, since we're using this for gaming and at least the PCs are still alive. In order for these predictions to be accurate, though, far more than 99% of the population would have to be gone. Communities of even a few hundred survivors should have no trouble maintaining dwellings and some measure of technology. If more people survive in your world, then these descriptions may only apply to areas that are abandoned (for whatever reason).
A Few Hours Later
Psychological Trauma
This soon after the death or vanishing of humanity, the main focus is on the creepy ghost-town affect, and the mystery of what happened to the human race. PCs are probably among a scattered handful of those left on the earth, and they'll probably scramble to determine the fate of family and friends, scout for survivors, etc. Games with psychology and sanity rules should be smacking the players pretty hard.
Power Outages
Most Fossil-Fuel power plants shut down once their immediate supply of fuel is exhausted, within a few hours after mankind is gone. This causes local blackouts, which cascade across the power grid. Only places supplied by nuclear, hydroelectric, or wind power stay lit, and some of those blackout as power is drawn away from further down the wires.
Vehicular Dangers
If mankind left instantly, due to rapture or a disease that kills in minutes, then moving vehicles provide a challenge. Empty cars swerve and crash. They idle and pollute until their fuel supplies run out. Planes continue flying on autopilot until their jetfuel runs out, then they drop from the sky over a period of several hours. Trains collide or derail.
A Few Days Later
The ghost-town affect is still an omnipresent theme at this stage of the campaign. The initial shock may have passed, but survivors may still be facing denial, and are likely to seek out broadcasting towers and long-range radios to send messages that they hope will reach other survivors.
Vehicles are no longer a danger (or running), but the other issues that manifested within hours of mankind's fate grow more pronounced.
Blackouts spread further on the power grid.
Many subway systems and urban tunnels would flood as no one is around to activate the pumps that keep them dry.
Animals
House pets trapped in homes would begin to starve, though they'll have water leaking out of defrosting freezers. Pets capable of getting outside would escape and fend for themselves. Those bred for cute appearance, with short legs and small mouths, would face serious disadvantages. Given this situation most players will be likely to take pity on them and spend time opening doors or breaking windows so pets can escape.
Electric fences on zoo pens are no longer functional, and starving animals will eventually make a break for it. In the early stages they'll stay contained, or feast on each other, and not be a threat to PCs who don't actually go to the zoo.
Corpses
If mankind died, instead of disappeared, the bodies will begin to stink and rot. Scavengers will pick at the bodies, and most human corpses will be crawling with insects. These sights should lead to more psychological trauma in games that support such things.
In the big cities, there's just too many corpses for the PCs to bury them all. The stench of rotting meat will be awful. Smart survivors will grab supplies on day one, and drive to less densely populated areas for at least the first few weeks.
Toxins and Radiation
Nuclear reactors automatically enter safe mode and are rendered harmless. However, the on-site storage for spent power rods no longer has the water circulation needed to cool it. It boils away, and releases clouds of radioactive gas. This results in radioactive rain, and thus groundwater contamination downwind from power plants.
Similar problems happen within toxins (instead of radiation) at many factories. If the smelting furnaces, chemical extractors, etc were running when mankind vanished, safety measures and waste containment would likely fail. Industrial sites could see an accumulation toxic sludge, harmful vapors, or explosive compounds.
A Few Weeks Later
Mice, rats, roaches and gulls will see a temporary upswell in population as food is briefly plentiful and easy to acquire. They take over the supermarkets and dumps.
Produce rots, followed by things that had been refrigerated or frozen. The insects and rodents eat into boxed and bagged foods.
If humans died, the insects that feed on them will also have population spikes, but eventually be forced to compete for dwindling resources as the corpses are cleaned.
Those dogs that don't starve will begin to gather into packs, and a pecking order will develop.
Supplies
At this point, PCs will be unlikely to have any guilt over raiding abandoned stores and houses for supplies.
Canned goods are still a plentiful source of food for PCs, but the trip to the grocery store to retrieve them will be a very unpleasant experience thanks to rotting food and vermin infestation.
Clothing, camping supplies, jewelry, firearms, etc, are also readily available. The buildings are still sound, and these sorts of stores probably won't feature nearly the level of infestation that plagues the supermarkets.
Farms
Most of the cows will have died from starvation or udder infections. Only free range cattle will be likely to survive. In rural areas predators and scavengers (including domesticated dogs) will feed on dead penned up cattle.
Domesticated chickens probably won't survive either, as their survival skills have been bred out of them, and predators are many. Those kept in tiny cages in factory farms will starve or peck each other to death.
A Few Months Later
The survivors will have largely grown used to the ghost town effect by this point. Increased presence of animal life, however, is one of the big themes of a campaign set in this timeframe.
Animals
Rats and mice start abandoning homes and supermarkets, and range further out for food. Hawks, and coyotes come to prey on the tail end of the rodent explosion. Animals have definitely noticed the absence of man at this point, and wildlife will infiltrate the suburbs. Those housecats that didn't get trapped in a house and starve will have plenty to feed on, and will quickly adapt to the new conditions.
Cockroaches, having exhausted the actual food in our buildings, will eat paper, cardboard, and glue. PCs who realize this may struggle to protect libraries from insect invaders.
Large zoo predators will range further out, as the supply of their natural prey is exhausted. PCs may be prepared to deal with packs of dogs, swarms of insects, and rodent infestations, …but a tiger?
Supplies
Canned food is still good, and exists in sufficient quantities in large cities to sustain the PCs for some time. Accessing it is not nearly as much of a problem as it once was, as the supermarkets are no longer swarming with vermin.
A Few Years Later
The PCs are used to the ghost town affect by now. However, aging and disuse will cause buildings creak and groan, and that, plus animal intruders, may cause unstable NPC survivor to grow paranoid. The buildings themselves will remain stable for now. If you don't mind stairs, skyscrapers and other tall buildings are a good place to stay - the corpses are no longer fresh, the plants and animals haven't gotten very far up the buildings, and they provide shelter from the elements.
The last of the Hydroelectric Power Plants fail around the one year mark, and the nighttime world returns to a level of darkness the likes of which it hasn't seen in centuries.
Animals
Wild animals would move into the cities in large numbers. The PCs are probably used to this by now. Unless survivors are numerous or very active (or live in tall buildings), wild animals will never be far away. The migratory patterns of land animals may resume, as there are no more busy highways to interrupt them.
Most of the vermin who had major population spikes in mans immediate wake will now have reduced numbers, as food supplies have dwindled and predator populations increased.
Overgrowth
A new visual to spring on the players is how plantlife has expanded into urban terrain. Plants will sprout within the cracks in streets, sidewalks, and buildings. Within five years, most urban areas will be covered with grasses, vines and saplings. Ivy crawls up the walls unchecked. Roads will disappear beneath the clover. Non-native plants that were formerly tended by gardeners will have either died off or spread out of control, depending on how well they deal with the local climate.
A Few Decades Later
Former garden vegetables now resemble wild strains, and are less palatable. Survivors who've hunkered down and engaged in controlled agriculture as opposed to nomadic hunting and gathering won't face this particular problem.
Buildings
Predominantly wooden houses have burnt and rotted away, unless they are being actively maintained by PCs or NPCs. The roofs will collapse before the walls, and trees may grow within them after the roofs are gone. Unchecked by man, termites will prosper and consume residential areas, so even houses maintained by PCs might start to have issues.
Brick and masonry buildings are weakened by salts and plants, but many still stand, and any maintained by PCs should be fine.
Buildings in arid climates fare the best, those in coastal or rainforest areas deteriorate quickly. Lowland and coastal cities are swallowed up by (or washed out to) the sea as locks and dams fail due to disrepair.
As the window sealants succumb to the weather, windows in skyscrapers crack and fall to the ground far below. Walking between the skyscrapers is hazardous due to the falling glass, though the concrete and steel buildings themselves are still stable. Steel structures show stress and corrosion, but still stand.
Suspension bridges, however, will give out. It only takes a few corroded cables to start a chain reaction that collapses them.
Animals
Thanks to neutering practices while mankind was around, many of the large dock packs will fail to sustain their numbers. Larger domesticated dogs will likely be accepted into wolf packs, and may interbreed with wolves. Even if the crossbreeding doesn't happen, wolf territory and numbers will expand dramatically in the absence of humans.
As the windows of skyscrapers crack and fall, pigeons and other birds will nest within the building frames.
Vehicles
Most automobiles will have rusted out and been overgrown. Tires have deflated, but are still intact. Within 75 years most cars aren't even recognizable unless you dig through the overgrowth - only their tires and plastic components will be the least bit salvageable.
Coral reefs will form around abandoned ships in harbors and beaches. While ships washing up on individual beaches is rare when you look at the short term, after several decades they'll start to accumulate. There are still plenty of ghost ships adrift on the sea at this point.
Toxins and Radiation
Rains have dispersed the radioactive clouds the Nuclear Power Plants emitted, and buried or scattered the particles. Life will return to the areas around the powerplants and factories, and only the most concentrated pollutants will keep plants and animals away. By this point you might not realize there's something toxic nearby until you're almost standing in it.
Satellites fall from the sky over time, looking like shooting stars. Only a few reach the ground to start fires. Some will have nuclear reactors, and without anyone monitoring their safety failures, the debris may contaminate large areas.
A Century Later
Remains of Technology
Houses have vanished in areas at all prone to hurricanes or flooding. Wood support beams will have rotted, and the waters will wear away at bricks and mortar. The next big storm washes away even the bits that can't degrade.
Tin cans are corroding and degraded. Should you find a can that's appears to be intact, the food inside it is probably unsafe by now. Aluminum cans are faded, but not corroded.
Abandoned tires finally start to decompose. All that's left of cars is just the most durable plastic pieces, and corroded bits of metal. Even cars maintained by the initial survivors will be non-functional now. Unless enough people survived with the knowledge and resource to make new ones, they are lost.
Books that weren't personally saved by human Survivors are completely lost. Weather penetrated the library roofs, rain molded the books, and vermin ate the pages. Much of technology, science, and philosophy will have to be discovered all over again. PCs hoping to preserve the knowledge of man will need to gather the books in an arid climate, dry them out, and seal them in aluminum, plastic, or pottery.
Plants and Animals
Vines grow up into the steel and concrete skyscrapers, turning them into multistoried ecosystems. Rodents and birds move into them when the plants do. Feral cats become the ultimate predator in this environment, capable of climbing and skulking through the layers.
Most animal species reproduce quickly enough to have repopulated themselves to levels approaching those before the industrial revolution.
Human survivors have certainly reproduced, but mankind has longer gestation and slower onset of maturity than most of the animal kingdom, so it'll be a while before we hit our old levels again.
The sea is once again teeming with life as it did before commercial fishing. The oldest of individual fishes will reach sizes they rarely (or never) did when man was hunting them.
Another Century Or Two After That
Assuming the PCs didn't get themselves killed off before establishing a community of survivors and future generations, they could be the new founding fathers.
Plants and Animals
Elephant populations expand dramatically in regions where they'd previously been endangered by Ivory Poachers. They fear no predators now.
Winters are colder than they were when humans were around. There's less pollution, fewer fires, and no cities to hold in the warmth.
Rodents, birds and cats are displaced (or killed) as the skyscrapers collapse.
Buildings
All that remains of houses is the plastic, aluminum, and stainless steel items that were within them. Pots and pans, faded toys and utensils, parts of appliances can be found amid the undergrowth. Suburbs have reverted to forest.
Subways and tunnels in urban areas, which had flooded long ago, cave in. This collapses many skyscrapers before the time they would have normally become unstable on their own.
Other large steel structures collapse from corrosion and disuse over the centuries. Proximity to water is a large factor in how fast they degrade. When one of these buildings comes down, it'll be a sight to behold (and very dangerous to those near it). Concrete buildings slowly succumb to moisture as well, as the rusting rebar reinforcements breaks them from within.
Other Debris
The last of the ghost ships has washed ashore or sunk. Ocean beaches are littered with rusting hulls.
Metal casings on atomic bombs corrode away, leaving radioactive cores exposed.
Aluminum cans slowly degrade over the course of 200-500 years of exposure. Plastic may break into smaller pieces as it weathers, but does not chemically break down.
Other substances likely to survive beyond this point are ceramics, bronze, and radioactive isotopes.
A Millenium Later
The survivors have had long enough to reproduce and relearn lost technologies, if they didn't learn their lessons they could rebuild quickly enough to do this all over again.
Modern cities disappear entirely, buildings having long ago collapsed. Their wreckage has now been been broken apart by the roots of the trees now growing atop their wreckage. Plastic items remain, but are broken by roots an buried under layers of new topsoil.
A new ice age expands, further obfuscating and damaging whatever stone walls and well-constructed artifacts may have miraculously survived to this point.
Only a handful of man-made structures can still be detected: Hoover Dam, Mount Rushmore, The Pyramids, the Great Wall of China. The rock ones might stay recognizable for hundreds of thousands of years. Perfect for a Planet of the Apes Ending, though Lady Liberty herself has long since corroded and collapsed.
Much, Much Later
Chemical pollutants in the soil, present since the start of the industrial revolution, are finally cleansed away after tens of thousands of years.
Exposed nuclear bomb cores are far less dangerous, having met their half life several times over, though they're still detectable against the background radiation. Depleted Uranium still hasn't reached it's half-life, though, and it's tough enough to survive the passage of ice ages.
Bits of plastic remain for millions of years - it doesn't photodegrade, it just breaks into smaller pieces. Styrofoam likewise has in indefinite lifespan, it might never break down. Individual styrofoam beads and tiny flakes of plastic will be found in the soil and on beaches for ages to come.
4 to 5 Billion Years Later
The sun swells as it nears death, raising the temperature of the planet beyond what multicellular life can endure. Microbial extremophiles survive for a million years beyond that. Eventually, though, the expansion of the sun sets the earth ablaze, and all is swallowed in fire.
Not On This Earth
It's possible the PCs aren't on the earth when the apocalypse happens. What evidence will be found as they approach and try to land?
Returning from Space
The final radio and television signals of Humanity degrade into the background radiation after they travel a light year or two, rather than the waves continuing across the cosmos infinitely as had once been thought. If the setting had manned deep space probes out before whatever calamity befell the earth, those missions might have expected there was a good chance they'd lose contact with earth during the voyage. Radio silence won't be disturbing to them until they get back within a light year of earth. They'll certainly be confused or scared when they return to find humanity mysteriously gone and their landing pads overgrown. Genre Savvy characters might hit on the planet of the apes angle pretty quickly.
If they approach on the night side of the planet, the lack of lights on cities will be very noticeable, and very disturbing. Radio break up could just be solar interference or equipment malfunction, but a dark planet means something really bad has happened back home.
Meanwhile, On The Moon
Items left on the Moon will stick around for millions of years, even those that would have been unrecognizable after a year on earth. There's no atmosphere, moisture, or bacteria on the moon to break them down. Long after man has passed, aliens exploring this region could learn of us by finding things left in our various lunar landings. Unless that changes somehow, things on the moon should be perfectly preserved until the Earth or the moon are destroyed.
Sources / Bibliography
1. Books: World Without Us by Alan Weisman
2. World Without Us website
3. Wikipedia summary of World Without Us
4. TV: Life After People on the History Channel
5. Wikipedia summary of Life After People
6. TV: Aftermath: Population Zero on the National Geographic Channel
7. Wikipedia summary of Aftermath: Population Zero
Game and Story Use
* Hopefully very useful for an After The End campaign.
o The first third of the page could provide a few ideas for any Twenty Minutes Into The Future game that features some sort of disaster.
* May be helpful for setting Alternate History or Lost Civilizations in your campaign setting. Turns out, as long as a civilization didn't develop plastics, aluminum, radioactive isotopes, or advanced chemistry, it can vanish without a trace a few hundred years after societal collapse. Atlantis, Hyborea, Mu, Pre-Desert Sahara, or some unknown culture in Antarctica could have hit an almost Wild West level of technology without leaving signs of it's passage. Much more advanced than that, though, and we'd be swimming in Out Of Place Artifacts.
* You could give a Planet Of The Apes Ending to a fantasy setting. After several months of play with only very subtle hints the players are likely to miss (describing bits of broken plastic as gems or magic eggs or whatever), have the PCs pursue the orcish bandits (or whatever) back into their hills and find Mount Rushmore or the Hoover Dam or just a superdungeon, that turns out to be Site R. The players would get it, even if their characters didn't.
* How about a sci-fi version of Roanoke Colony, where the PCs arrive to find a formerly-prosperous colony world empty? They have to figure out why it went dark, and how recently, so that they can know if this is a threat to other colonies.
After all that, I find myself wanting to play some Gamma World.
Monday, March 2, 2009
Unofficial Robot Chicken: The Role-Playing Game
Now,
That said, I love it. It's irreverant, absurd, and funny as hell. And I think it has some gaming potential. You wouldn't try to run a full-blown campaign of it, but as an occasional one-shot it'd be pretty sweet.
Robot Chicken defies traditional narrative structure, and thus this RPG will defy traditional gaming structure. Most roleplaying games tend to fall into two categories: miniatures-esque games about killin' things, and story games about angsty character development. A Robot Chicken RPG wouldn't be too concerned about either of those ideas, it'd be about short scenes involving insane situations and unexpected perversions of our beloved childhood memories.
So, let's get started brainstorming. Right off the bat, I know we want this to be rules light. We also want it focused on toys-as-player-characters, with each person playing multiple toys/characters in a session. Didn't take me long to dream up the structure, and other than assembling toys and making a buttload of cards, this post has nearly an entire RPG in it. Heck, my birthday's tomorrow, maybe I'll invite a few friends over and run it.
Toys:
So, we start with a pool of toys, and a number of Skits. Everyone (players and GM) should bring a number of toys equal to the number of participants (counting players and the GM) you're expecting, and the GM should bring extra toys beyond that equal to the number of Skits (see below) he or she plans to run.
So T = (P x P) + S. T is number of toys, P is number of participants, S is number of Skits.The toys will be the PCs and NPCs, so they should be mostly action figures, dolls, stuffed animals, plastic dinosaurs, lego minifigs, etc. One or two stranger things in the mix will be fine, but if you bring nothing but squirt guns and an Easy Bake Oven, you're just making it hard on the group.
Toys are drafted out or assigned randomly. No one should end up playing more than maybe 1 or 2 of the toys they brought, as the point is to totally desecrate the memory of these toys, and your friends can do that for you better than you can. To make it feel like Robot Chicken, you should draw little mouths of varying sizes on paper, cut them out, and attach them to the toys with tape or that blue poster-tacking goo. You've been warned - don't bring your mint chase figure that's worth a 100$, and don't bring the teddybear that you've slept with every night since you were 8. Bring toys that will be no great loss to you should half an hour be spent discussing their irritable bowel syndorme, or if tape peels the paint off their face.
If you draft toys (that's my preferred method), the GM shouldn't get to draft. Instead, once each player has drafted P toys, the GM gets the P+S that are left over. Or, maybe the GM gets one pick to start the draft, and then just gets the slop afterwards.
There's a chance that toys may end up being used as miniatures should combat break out, but that's not really the point. There's also a possibility that some player will find it easier to role-play through the toy, moving it about like a kid would, and shaking it when the character is talking. That's not really the point, either, but shouldn't be discouraged. The main purpose to toys is to just provide an instant character concept that is outwardly obvious to the players.
Skits:
Rather than being set up as a flowing narrative, the game is staged as fairly disconnected Skits. Each Skit has a Skit card, sort of crib notes for the GM. It'll provide just enough details of setting/plot/joke to get his improvisational motor revving. The main use for these cards is to set up goals and point structures.
How many Skits to run? Well, that's to be determined by GMs devilish plans, and the time you have available. In general, though, the formula/format should work best when P is one or two integers higher than S, so not quite all the toys get used. A really high S means super-short Skits for those with minimal attention spans. A really low S means longer Skits that could result in nuanced character-development, but probably peter out. For a game this crazy, I tend to favor the automatic/shotgun approach, but you'll adjust to flavor.
For Skits, the GM will need to do a little prepwork. What actually happens in the Skits will no doubt be mostly improvisational, and strongly colored by what toys get hauled to the game, and what Depth cards (see below) get assigned to them. But, you're gonna need something of a framework - a bunch of crazy Skits to kickstart the game and set the tone of play.
Robot Chicken is pretty cut-throat, the toys do horrible things to one another and many Skits have someone getting the short end of the stick. So let's make this a competitive game, to get everyone in the right mood. There will be a winner at the end of the night, as players will score points for doing things appropriate to the Skit. Scores accumulate from Skit to Skit, and there should be some prize for the winner at the end of the night. I'd probably make a crappy trophy by gluing together some custom toy, and give that to the winner.
So, the GM should prep for "S" Skits (per the equation in the toy section), by making a Skit Card for each of them. One side of the card should feature a roughly one-sentence description of what the Skit is about. When the Skit is about to start, this side is read to the players, and they will choose which Toy and Depth combo they'll play that Skit based on the description. What sort of Skits the GM wants to run is wide open: a beauty pageant, a horror film, a public service announcement about genital warts, the carpool to work gets stuck in a traffic jam, a scene from the bible, etc. A small portion of the toys the GM brings should be particularly appropriate for certain Skits, but not all of them, or else they might overshadow the toys the players brought.
The back of the Skit card documents scoring. The front of the Skit card gets read to the players, but they don't get to see the back of the card till the Skit is over. Most Skits should have around 100 points that are likely to be achieved by most players, and another 100 points or so that can only be claimed by the first player to achieve some specific goal. At the end of each Skit, you reveal the card and calculate scores.
Example Skit Card:On that card, there's about 30 points that most players will score practically automatically, with the potential for everyone to score 80-150 points, and if one person did everything right they alone could walk away with 240 points.
Front:
The PCs are contestants in a beauty pageant, complete with introductions, swimsuit competition, and talent contest. There will be 3 NPC judges.
Back:
+10 points If you choose a feminine/female toy for your PC this Skit.
+20 points for lampooning beauty contestants by playing your character as flighty or bitchy.
+20 points for each judge you manipulate via some immoral means, such as bribery, seduction, blackmail or threats of violence. You score these points for the effort, even if the judge chooses not to vote for you due to someone else's actions or a bad die roll. +20 extra points (per judge) if your method of manipulation is tailored to match the toy that represents that judge.
+10 points for getting one or more of your fellow PCs disqualified or eliminated from the competition. Disqualify them all, and it's still just +10 points total.
+30 points to whoever wins the actual contest.
+50 points for having the most outrageous talent in the talent competition.
Dice Mechanic:
We want simple mechanics, that resolve easily. Characters are mostly defined by what toy they are. The system will use d8s and d12s exclusively.
Why? 'Cause d6s aren't nerdy enough, d10s and d20s are the backbone of enough systems already, and d4's annoy me. Not everyone owns d16s and d34s, so I guess I'll have to settle for 8s and 12s.If a player says his character is doing something that could logically be done by an animate version of that toy, the GM typically just says it happens. If the announced action seems particularly difficult, or if there's potential for humorous consequences if you fail, the GM will tell you to roll your d8. A 5 or better is a success.
If you're taking an action that directly harms another PC, both players roll a d8, and the higher roll gets his way. You can't kill a character with a single attack - winning once gives them a wound. A second wound (from a later attack) incapacitates the character. Other than that, wounds have no impact - there's no penalties for being hurt other than the risk of being KOd if you're hit again.
Social powers, such as World's Greatest Lover, can be used to manipulate other PCs and force behavior from them. As with the wounds rule, something that removes another player from the Skit should take two successful "attacks" to accomplish. One intimidation roll will make them run away, but they'll come back a minute later and have to be chased off a second time. The same goes for horrible degrading humiliation and forcing behavior at odds with their character type - you'd need two successful seduction rolls to bed a Nun doll against her better judgment, for example.
You'll note that I said the game uses d8s and d12s, but all my examples involve rolling only a d8. That's because d12s are granted by Depth cards (see below).
Depth Cards:
Robot Chicken doesn't just feature Celebrities, Smurfs, and Autobots. It features celebrities that secretly aliens, Smurfs that are psychokillers, and Autobots with protstate cancer. The game needs to reflect that. Therefore, everyone is dealt P+1 Depth Cards at the start of the game.
Depth Cards add that extra something special to your character. Most are just skills, broadly defined, which let you roll a d12 whenever you're doing something akin to that. This could be "World's Greatest Lover" or "Nerdly Super-Scientist" or even "Induce Vomiting" and "Drunken Wobble" since this is Robot Chicken, after all.
Mechanically, skills and powers granted by Depth Cards work just like normal actions a character can take, except you roll a d12 instead of a d8. Difficulty remains a 5 for uncontested actions, and an opposed roll if doing something unpleasant to a PC. This means the benefits of rolling a d12 are most pronounced when acting against a PC who only has a d8 to defend with - a third of your rolls will beat their best roll. That's an intentional decision designed to promote disunity amongst players. Go on, mess with each other.
Some Depth Cards should be more complicated and bizarre. Here's a few examples of cards that are more complicated, but worth putting in a deck:
- You might be a were-toy, and when the moon is full you turn into one of your other toys, which has an additional depth card of it's own.
- Wonder Twin Powers, activate! You can turn into water or ice, and the player of your choice can turn into animals.
- You might have a horrible disease, which lets you roll a d12 to spread it to anyone you contact, but if you ever roll a "1", for anything, you take a wound.
- What if Jesus came back like that? Includes any and all biblical powers you care to improvise.
- The PC of your choice is in love with you, and you get a d12 just for wrapping them around your finger.
- Play two characters this Skit, using an extra Depth Card that applies to both toys.
- This toy's voice is provided by a famous celebrity guest-star. Pick a star you can do a good impersonation of. While playing that role, you get a d12 to do anything you've ever seen them do in a movie.
- Recurring character. Instead of playing a new character, reuse a toy (and corresponding Depth Card) you used in a previous Skit.
I'm guessing the right mix is 1/3 usable skills, 1/3 useless character quirks disguised as skills, and 1/3 bizarre powers that break the rules, but I won't know for certain till it's been playtested. It's worth mentioning that there's very little need for cards to be balanced, as you're only playing any given character for 10 to 45 minutes.
Starting a Skit:
The GM reads aloud the short description from the front of the Skit card. Everyone picks one of their toys, and one of their Depth cards. Starting with the second Skit of the night, there should be a time limit to picking your character. If it takes you five minutes matching a card and toy before the first Skit, it's no big deal, but if it's taking you more than a minute at the start of Skit 3, it's time for the GM to step in and assign one randomly.
Each person should have more toys than the GM has Skit cards, and more Depth cards than they have toys, so some just won't get used. That's fine, it lets you skip out on your least interesting possibilities. Cards should be kept secret at least until the Skit starts. If you think the Depth Card functions best with surprise value, you can keep it hidden till you use it's power or make a roll related to it. If it's something that should be obvious, or will help with roleplaying if it's revealed early, do so as soon as the Skit starts.
The GM has more toys, and can use however many he wants per Skit. However, he doesn't get Depth Cards. It's possible a Skit description might give powers to an NPC, but most of the time the GMs job is narrator and straight-man for the much more bizarre PCs to riff off of.
End of the Night:
When the last Skit is done and all the points have been tallied, declare a winner. If possible, the GM should give them a prize for winning - could be a toy or trophy, some candy, bonus xp for the main campaign of a real RPG you run most of the time, etc.
Then, before everybody goes home, offer them a chance to write up a couple of new Depth Cards to insert into the deck for next time. Not scene cards, as something has to be saved for the GM, who has less power in this game than most RPGs.
Alternately, you could decide (now that everyone has a feel for how the game works) to split up the GMing duties next time. In that case, everyone would show up to the game with not just a set of toys, but also one Skit Card for a Skit they planned to run and a dozen Depth Cards to shuffle into the deck.
Session Report from the first time this was played.
Credit where it's due:
Used without permission, and no challenge is intended to any copyrights or trademarks. The main influence on this game is (obviously) the TV show Robot Chicken, which in turn steals from various toy manufacturers and other icons of pop culture. The ideas and system presented above also draw inspiration from the TV show Who's Line Is It, Anyway?, the quasi-RPG Pantheon published by Hogshead, and the quasi-CCG 1,001 Blank White Cards. I've also made various pop culture references: Sith were created by George Lucas, Wonder Twins are copyright DC comics, and Jesus is a registered trademark of Matthew, Mark, Luke and John, Inc.
Friday, February 6, 2009
You missed a great game last night (TROOPS)
The characters were Imperials working a DWI checkpoint just outside Mos Eisley. I gave them pregenerated stats, but required each player to come up with (name, rank, and serial number, plus) a personality quirk or two that made their Stormtrooper stand out. This wasn't the sort of scenario where stats, equipment and dice pools really mattered. It was an action-packed adventure, but not in any traditional sense of the words.
Of course, calling it a scenario or adventure isn't even entirely accurate. Other than the initial character sheets, it was pretty much all improvised. My scenario prep amounts to 6 lines in my notebook, just storyline and character ruminations, without even a single NPC stat. I grabbed a bunch of minis appropriate to Tatooine, and just ran whatever came to mind.
The cast of Player Characters included:
Sela Quar, Serial # CR2567, the NCO in charge of the DWI checkpoint. (Played by Laura.) As one of the rare female Stormtroopers, Sela was bitter about the Imperial "glass cieling" and complained about it constantly to anyone who would listen. She was an AT-ST driver, her vehicle is shown here with it's fashionable ribbon adornment. She joined the Imperial Forces to get away from Tatooine, but, sadly, straight out of the Academy they deployed her back on Tatooine.
- Ojibnan Ramalamadidon, Serial # THX1138, a Stormtrooper who joined the Imperial Forces for the educational benefits. (Played by John.) He's on the II Bill - for every 10 credits you put into your education fund, the Empire kicks in 1 credit. That's a 10% interest, and you only have to commit to 10 years as a Stormtrooper to get it! Oji's other quirk was that he didn't want to shoot people or get shot at - which is fairly rare for a Stormtrooper. "Being a Stormtrooper is also helping me develop my interpersonal skills. I never was a people-person before."
- PFC Track (Played by Steve) is a member of the Dewback Corps, and was never far from his pet Dewback mount, a lizard named Princess. He really didn't want to be a Stormtrooper, his dream was to manage a tourist resort, but his parents forced him into the military to advance the political aspirations they had for him. His other quirk was a strong fascination with (and memorization of) manufacturer's recall notices.
- 77T8 is the Protocol Droid assigned to the squad. (Played by Malachi.) He'd been mindwiped 47 times by jawas before being bought by the squad. As a result, he had some patwork personality and a faulty vocalizer. In every scene, he had a different accent. He was also wired with a very potent self-destruct bomb, but thankfully never had to use it.
- All of this was filmed by CamBot, aka P673219, aka Cindy the Probe Droid. (Played by Sarah. ) Cindy had been programmed with a sexy woman's voice, constantly flirting with the Stormtroopers she was interviewing. Picture a gynormous Imperial Probe Droid starting every conversation with "Howdy Sailor" or "Hey, Good Looking", and you're on the right track.
The scenario started out pretty simply. There was a long line of landspeeders pulled over at the DWI checkpoint.
Between the encounters mentioned below, Cindy Cambot interviewed the other PCs - it was kinda like "confessionals" in InSpectres, but she actually got out our video camera and recorded them. I had planned on putting the interviews up on YouTube, but since we were playing in a coffeeshop the audio is pretty bad.
The second car was a salvage truck, with an recovered escape pod (and one circular droid bit) in the back. His paperwork was in order and he wasn't drunk so they let him through. It served as a frame of reference as to when the session was set, so the significance of the next car wasn't lost.
An old man and a 20-year-old kid were in the next landspeeder, along with their droids. There was some hand-waving involved. Protocol Droid 77T8 sure tried hard to stop them, since he was immune to jedi mind tricks. Laura (as Sela) played up that she knew Luke from her childhood, and she let Wormie and Old Ben pass through without even having to put the jedi whammy on her. Trying to provoke a fight, 77T8 mentioned the report that Luke's folks had been put down, but instead of starting trouble, it just motivated Sela to let the poor kid go without questioning.
One or two cars later, the driver was Officer Oji's no good brother-in-law Greedo. He was drunk, and talking trash about some guy named solo. I'm such a geek - I have Greedo's lines in Rodian phoenetically memorized, so I delivered them with a drunken slur. "And I know he's gonna try to do that little gimmick of his, where he shoots ya under the table, but ya know what I'm gonna do? Do ya? Do ya? I'm gonna shoot him first!" Since he was family, they called him a cab. The Probe droid put the blurry spot over not just Greedos face but also Officer Oji's badge number.
Sebulba showed up in the next Pod in line. There was some discussion over whether or not it was street legal, so they ran a background check. He'd been racing on other worlds for several years, and the statute of limitations on all his local crimes had run out. Why was he back? He said his old school reunion was tonight, and he planned to beat up Ani for old time's sake. The Stormtroopers wished him luck on that.
Next was Panda Baba and Dr Evazan. Turns out the players had seen that particular episode of Robot Chicken, so my own stolen thunder was stolen. I did have Dr Evazan mouth off a bit, and was again surprised that the PCs mostly let him get away with it. These Stormtroopers apparently really took Palpatine's "kinder, gentler Empire" speach very seriously.
The next three cars in line got smushed by a giant sail barge. We set a dice tray on the table to be the barge, and I quickly pulled out a baggie with miniatures of Jabba, Boba Fet, several goons and a horde of Twi'Lek poledancers. Now was the moment for the players to screw up, get ballsy, and/or just generally start some trouble. Sela, improvising with no prompting from me, instructed the Protocol Droid to serve Jabba with his warrant for outstanding parking tickets. Boba Fett rocketed over to respond. He was starring at Sela's chestplate. "My eyes are up here." "Yeah, but your badge number is down there." Things got tense for a moment, but the brave droid boarded the barge and tried to serve Jabba the Warrant. "This Protocol Droid is my kind of bureacratic scum... If you forget that warrant ever existed, I'll give you this Twi'Leki whore-slave." I was prepared for the fight had they pushed the issue, but they decided a blue-skinned ho was a worthy bribe.
As the sail barge headed to the horizon, the Stormtroopers made medicine rolls to try and save the lives of the cars it had smushed. They called the salvage truck from the beginning of the scenario, and made some profit on the crumpled landspeeders. The players thought everything was winding down early.
Then I said a sleek black landspeeder flies towards you. It's bobbing and weaving, and the driver must be drunk. They fired warning shots, and the driver managed to break just short of plowing into the AT-ST. It was a state-of-the-art expensive landspeeder, with seamless tinted windows. Everybody started to sweat in their armor, but someone mustered the nerve to approach the car. A black gloved dropped a crumpled beer can out the window.
Vader was not only stinkin' drunk, he was morose and mopey. Tonight was his school reunion, and what did he have to show for himself? The PCs tried to convince him that being a Dark Lord of the Sith and second-in-command of the fleet was accomplishment enough, but Darth insisted that he was nothing but a washed-up cyborg freak who hadn't been in a stable relationship in nearly 30 years. This was between various cans of beer, bouts of vomiting, taking hits on his spice pipe, unzipping to pee in front of them all, reminiscing about Padme's hairstyles, falling on his ass and sobbing about the high ground, etc. (In the background, "Princess" the Dewback was eating Vader's drug stash.)
"Sebulba's gonna *wheeze* rub my mask in it *wheeze* if I show up to the reunion *wheeze* without a date." This was, of course, why I included the sexy little slave-ho in the previous scene. The eyes of the droid's player light up, and he gets half a word into offering the slave to Vader.
Sela cut him off. She had ambitions, and wasn't above flirting with Vader to advance her career. "I'd be happy to be your date, Lord Vader. My shift is nearly over, just give me a moment to freshen up..."
I just had to reward that quick-thinking, so Vader says "I'm afraid I can't fraternize with a Corporal... *wheeze* ...but I'll be happy to attend my school reunion with you, General Sela. Let me get you a proper uniform." There was some goofiness as he struggled to unlock the trunk of his car, but eventually he opened it up. The bodies of five dead Imperial Officers were packed in the trunk. One was female, and looked like her uniform would fit Sela. You'd think that'd be enough to scare her off...
The arrive at the Cantina where the Reunion is being hosted. Sela and Vader on a date, the rest of the PCs being their honor guard.
There's a small delay at the cantina - the crew that was supposed to hang the "Enchantment Under The Dune Sea" banners first had to clean up a severed arm and poor Greedo's body. Officer Oji calls his sister to break the news - John was hilarious as he tactlessly let her know that her husband is dead, sent her pictures of his smoking corpse, and then rummaged through his deceased brother-in-laws pockets and improvised finding half a dozen different wedding rings. "I guess he really did have a woman in every port." He then read off inscribed names from the rings.
77T8 slipped off for a moment to sell a couple of the spare Admiral Uniforms to various criminals. He keeps one and wears it into the Cantina, as being an Imperial Officer is the only way to convince the barkeep to serve droids.
Since it's the "Enchantment Under The Dune Sea" dance, I had the band play "Yoda Be Good", complete with improvised parody lyrics from the Bith version of Marty McFly.
Vader pranced around showing off his trophy date, insulting Sebulba, buying rounds of drinks, bragging about his power and position, etc. He made it terribly clear to the whole reunion that he was indeed little Anakin Skywalker.
Sela makes a mental connection, and steps off to call Luke. So, of course, Luke's in the middle of trying to fight his way across the hangar bay to the Millenium Falcon. The power was in Sela's hands. She could have told Luke who his dad was now, she could have ordered her squad to help capture him, there were plenty of options. Instead, however, she flexed her recently-promoted muscles, and ordered the squad attacking her old chum to stand down and let Luke and the Millenium Falcon escape.
Vader passes out. Then his phone rings, so Sela picked it up and answered it. It was Emperor Palpatine. I was just planning to riff along the lines of Palpatine and Vaders conversation on Robot Chicken. Instead, she secures her title as a General, contingent on getting Vader home safe to the Death Star and make sure no one at the reunion remembers any state secrets Vader might have blabbed (including his Anakin identity). Again, I'm expecting mass carnage as the "correct" answer. Instead, they plug the probe droid into the bar's widescreen TV, and play altered footage of Vader claiming to secretly be everyone they'd met. "I'm really Greedo! No, wait, I'm really Jabba The Hutt!" etc. Meanwhile, they spend a big chunk of the salvage money on additional rounds of drinks so everyone at the reunion is so wasted they can't remember which Vader identity was the real one.
77T8, the protocol droid, interrupts the call from the Emperor to network. He arranges for an interview with the Emperor to make a presentation/proposal about a new Droid Army. This is, the Emperor Explains, contingent on him having 5 or more arms. "Everytime I hire a new Droid General, my rule is that he has to have more arms than his predecessor..."
What a ridiculous scenario. Everyone was in stitches, and half the group made out like Bandits. I may have to revisit this on Cloud City or Endor sometime.
Update: One of the players, Steve, also wrote up a big chunk of the scenario . If my blathering wasn't enough for you, check out his LiveJournal entry.
