Friday, April 3, 2009

The Quest for the Sky Food

Lengthy scene by scene break down (and more than a few colorful throwaway highlights) of last night's game:
  • Started in a tavern, when a wizard came in to hire some adventurers. Might as well do things classic, eh?
  • Fermented StunJelly, and frosty mugs of Ice Troll Blood "on tap".
  • The Wizard was the infamous Hiram B'schnoz, Sverfneblin Illusionist, and his symbiotic Tween. I'd planned on having some fun with his diminuative stature, but the PCs ranged between 2 and 5 feet as well.
  • An unexplored asteroid was passing nearby. Hiram had hidden it behind an illusion so no one else would know it was out there and ready for the pillaging.
  • 3 out of 5 PCs could fly, so they borrowed a Giant Hornet to carry the others.
  • Once they'd pierced the illusion, the PCs were attacked by Gorbels riding Thorks. I know, that's a bit of a stretch, but I wanted to establish early on just how odd the "all FF" scenario could be. It's kinda explained below.
  • When a Gorbel was knocked off a Thork and fell hundreds of feet, he bounced back up like the rubber ball they are.
  • The leader of the Gorbels was General Gorbels. When the PCs popped him, all that was left was hot air and a hitler mustache.
  • The Nilbog PC fell out of the sky too, and was also unhurt.
  • The beach he landed on was populated by female Quaggoths. The Nilbog had the aspect "Greatest Lover", and much adult hilarity ensued.
  • The Fiend Folio is the Bible. The PC priest carried a copy around, and would reference it in-character. This was a stroke of genius - I'm so glad I made that last minute alteration to the setting taglines. The PCs were reading passages aloud in reverent tones, and it "spoiled" secrets in ways that were a laugh riot.
  • More Quaggoths gather as word of the PC spreads. The first group of Quaggoth were carrying battle axes. The lastest Quaggoth arrival was unarmed. Page 74 of the holy book says "A particular quaggoth group will always be either unarmed ... or armed - there will never be a mixture of unarmed and armed types in the same group". Since there was one fewer axes than quaggoth, the fuzzy critters all buried their weapons in the sand.
  • Sky food! A "crystal ball" falls from the sky, it being the same off-white color as the great void-sky. The quaggoth rip it open and eat it. The more Sky Food starts raining down. It smells nasty and makes your eyes sting, but unlike any other food in the Fiend Folio, the Sky Food doesn't try to eat anyone.
  • The local Fire Newts have a special version of the Fiend Folio, with Apocrypha. It's hand-written entries on the blank page at the back of things they'd discovered that weren't in the original holy text.
  • There's an information exchange - Ossible the Imp (from the 3.5 FF) answers the newts questions about his species, in exchange for the information about Sky Food. As this happened, Sarah actually wrote a Sky Food entry in the margins of page 80, between "Skulk" and "Slaad".
  • Sky Food falls from the Moon, about once a Moonth. Since the PCs can fly, they head to the Moon.
  • The Nilbog ends up getting dropped again. He lands on the moon, in an SkyFood farm being tended by Crab Men. Our "Token" pokerchips make good castenettes / crab men claw sounds.
  • An awesome scene as the PCs debate the notion of food that doesn't attack you. This is unheard of! Eventually they learn that once you know the secret True Name of the Onion, it is rendered docile. Or so the Crab Men claim under duress.
  • Flind knights (riding Disnenchanters) attack. The badass Flind leader goes all Nunchuku on them, and is Nigh Impossible to defeat. Lots of tokens get spent (and the Fire Mephit PC gates in a Smoke Mephit cousin - with a Dennis Hopper-esque voice) before he's felled.
  • The Smoke Mephit took a few hits off the Euphoric Imp, and the Euphoric Imp smoked the Mephit. Ain't no Flinds gonna harsh their mellow.
  • The PCs storm the castle. Flind army is easily circumvented (mostly 'cause it was nearly 10pm already) and the clever Steward (a Grell in a silver tiara, with a personality reminiscent of the Chamberlain from The Dark Crystal) leads them deeper into the castle to the throne room of the "Great Master".
  • The Great Master is a Crypt Thing. His pet is a Guardian Familiar, perched on a pile of silver.
  • The Aarakokra made a cat toy and tempted the kitty off the silver. It died. A second later, it was reborn bigger. The PC priest unholy worded it. A second later, it was reborn bigger.
  • The Great Master was not amused. He teleported the party away in stages, as they traded insults and taunts.
  • Two PCs came back, and got teleported away again.
  • The group reassembled, and tried again. This time they parleyed. They bluffed that Ygorl himself needed the Crypt Thing to leave this moon on a mission. The Crypt thing countered with "The Holy Book indicates that Crypt Things, such as myself, must stay in their lair permenantly. 100% In Lair percentage, you can look it up - just ignore the part about how I'm not actually disintegrating you."
  • Eventually, they set up a deal. They'll take all the onions (and get rich back home for having a non-man-eating crop) so he doesn't have to keep handwaving the darned things away.
Wow, that was a long synopsis. Seems kinda random as presented, but a lot of thought went into this - I carefully "balanced" the ecosystems.

  1. The beach was populated by female Quaggoth and female Fire Newts. Men were very scarce. Turns out that's because the oceans were full of Kelpies - who can hypnotize men to their deaths but won't attack women. The ocean also had Dragonfish and Throat Leeches. Dragonfish have poisonous spines - and Quaggoth are immune to Poison. Throat Leeches can only be detered by heat or fire - and Fire Newts have a breath weapon. So the Female Quaggoths do the hunting and fishing, after the Fire Newts heat up the water just enough to repel the leeches.
    Other critters in that environment included Thorks (who have internal furnaces) and Gorbel (who can float on the waters surface or bounce down the beach). The Thorks were too hot inside for the Gorbels to bite, but they'd grab their feathers and hang on semi-parasitically. The Gorbels preyed on Quaggoth only when the later were in their culturally-enforced unarmed phase. Gorbels are described as "mischevious", so I figured this was all almost plausible despite thier lack of intellect.
  2. On the moon, the Onion farms were carefully tended by Crab Men. Crab Men have a passion for silver, and the Crypt Thing's treasure was all silver. The Crab Men would roll onions at him (from out of his range) to pay tribute, and he'd teleport the stinky things away (usually into the gravity well of the planet). The onions were thus "Sky Food" making life a little easier down on the hellish beaches. The Flinds had set themselves up in their traditional role of luitenants and minibosses. As for the Grell, the Guardian Familiar, and the Disenchanters - well, lets just say I'm thankful everything else made enough sense that the PCs didn't go asking any more questions about how that came to be.
  3. And, as detailed in an earlier post, back home the PCs live in a carefully maintained fortress-farm of barely contained killer plants. Or, they did, before they returned with Onion seeds and simplified life considerably.
So, the PCs retire as rich men. Should I ever do a follow up game, I'd probably put stronger emphasis on the gemstone economy, and include a subplot about trying to track down the lost tome of THE ADVANCED DUNGEONS AND DRAGONS MONSTER MANUAL, which is known only from parenthetical references within the holy Fiend Folio.

1 comment:

r_b_bergstrom said...

Miniature and toy pictures included just to break up the wall of text effect. Unlike many other games I've run lately, this one didn't use any minis.